A Moments Silence
by KrystalKayne
Summary: The end just came too soon. It wasn't fair. Love should never have to end like this.


"Just accept that I'm sick! There's nothing that you can do about it!"

I shouted loudly at my partner of roughly 4 years.

No matter how many trips to the doctors I made, or how many times I collapsed and had to go to hospital he just wouldn't accept the fact that I had much longer to live, something I'd been told many times now.

He just didn't get it.

"No matter how much you oppose it, it's not going to make the cancer go away."

My voice remained rather loud. I was just so mad at him.

I just wanted to live what time I had left without any drama's, without any fighting but no, he just had to debate with me every single time and I was sick of it.

At this rate, I was sure I was going to die alone because I didn't know how much more of this I would be able to take. Biting down against my lower lip harshly, as Mike stood there in silence. Not a single word left his lips as his head hung down lowly.

"You can beat this Nattie, I know you can"

"NO! No I can't. Do you not get it? I'm going to die, whether you like it or not"

With that being said, I just walked off. We'd been arguing for over an hour and I was tired and didn't want to deal with it any longer. I just wanted to lay down and sleep for a while and just hope I woke up afterwards.

Almost slamming the door behind me, I collapsed down onto the bed and exhaled deeply.

In all honesty, I just wanted this over with and the sooner the better. I was over suffering on a daily basis. It'd weakened every part of me and I really just couldn't do it anymore.

I was sick of the pity as well.

Everyone said they felt so sorry for me and wished they could do something to help, which would always result in a sarcastic response along the lines of 'go invent a cure for cancer'. No matter how close I was with the person, I was bitter towards them and even I'd noticed how bad it'd been getting.

Being cooped up at home didn't help much either.

I wasn't allowed to go anywhere – at it wasn't even doctors orders.

Mike refused to let me go anywhere just so he could keep an eye on me and make sure I was okay. I was pretty capable of looking after myself – not that he'd even let me. And if something did happen, it wasn't that hard to pick up my phone to call him but he didn't seem to understand that.

Sighing at all the thoughts that were currently being processed by my groggy mind I just turned on my side and tried to sleep.

It may've only been 2 in the afternoon but after the days happenings, I was already exhausted.

Thankfully Mike got the point and didn't follow me. It was probably the only time he hadn't. Biting down against my lower lip, I allowed the silence to consume me. I just needed peace to relax. Peace was something I hadn't been able to experience in a long time.

Even thought I'd isolated myself from basically everyone that I was friends or acquaintances with. People just didn't understand, they say they did but honestly they didn't. It was almost sickening to see people be so overly nice, if you could even call it that.

Again attempting to erase all the thoughts in my mind, I let the sounds of the nature outside become my comfort. The sound of the wind, the birds chirping happily outside, the sound of children playing in the street and the sound of the waves crashing against the beach that wasn't too far from my home. It brought a small smile to my lips.

It even gave me an idea.

Upping to my feet, I wandered to my closest and got changed into a pair of shorts and an altered tank top that I'd done myself. It was my favourite outfit. Slipping my feet into a pair of pink ballet flats, I searched through the clothing to find a coat; pulling it over my shoulders before I headed out to find Mike.

Biting my lip, I hesitated as my dark chocolate eyes fell upon his well-built frame slouched forwards as he sat on the sofa.

Walking up to him, I took his hand with no words leaving my lips and pulled him to his feet. Linking my fingers with his I began to lead him towards the front of the house and out the door, pausing for a moment as I took in the smell of the fresh air and allowed the sun to warm my skin. Continuing down the driveway, I lead Mike down towards the beach. I could see people surfing and swimming in the breakwater. It was relatively quiet and that was kind of what I wanted.

Neither of us spoke.

I'm not sure why. We just didn't. I refused to but Mike, I was surprised he didn't utter a word.

Once I got to the beach, I slipped out of my shoes and stepped into the sand, a small smile curving my lips as my feet sunk into it. Holding onto my shoes in my free hand, I leant softly into Mike's side, his arm wrapping around my waist tightly as his head rested down against mine.

We seemed to be just enjoying the moment while it lasted because it was moments like these that were few and very far between. We never did this sort of thing anymore. We hadn't for months.

It was nice.

But somehow I didn't think it would last for very long.

Soon, we arrived at our favourite spot.

You could see the water perfectly and were sheltered from the wind.

It was perfect.

This moment, it seemed just perfect.

Biting down against my lower lip, I went to sit down, softly pulling Mike with me. I still didn't say a word. I didn't want to ruin anything.

This was what I missed.

The quality time. With him, it always felt special. No matter what we were doing.

We just sat there and watched the water. It seemed like hours had passed, and to be honest, they probably had. I'd lost track of time. I'd done that a lot lately.

I never used to. I was OCD when it came to time keeping but I just seemed to let it go. What was the point anymore? I couldn't see one really.

I looked up at Mike, it seemed like he had been crying and my breath caught in my throat at the sight.

Laying myself down in the sand, I insisted he join. Once he did, I did nothing but stare into his eyes. I could see the sadness in them. You wouldn't have been able to miss it from a mile away, it would've been impossible to. I could tell he was trying to search my eyes for any sign of fight, but I already knew he would come across no such thing. I'd given up a long, long time ago. I'd even taken the time to write him a letter about it all. I'd hidden it until I found the right time to give it to him, but somehow the right time in my eyes seemed to be once I was gone. So he probably would never find it.

After a little while, I buried myself into his chest and rested my head against it making sure that I was able to hear his heart beat in hopes that it kept mine going that little bit longer but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Pulling away for a moment, I looked up at him again blinking blankly for a few moments before I leant forwards, allowing my lips to capture his for a moment that lasted longer than I'd anticipated.

It seemed to have taken a lot out of me.

So much so, I even struggled to break it.

Again, burying myself into his torso, I tried to steady my breathing.

It did slow down a little at a time, but then the time between my breaths increased. Not by too much, but just enough to know that it was my time.

Tightening my grip slightly as Mike's arms wrapped around my frail body, I tried to hold on but I just couldn't anymore.

I'd always feared this day.

I allowed my eyes to close slowly as I tried to focus on Mike's heartbeat again, but everything was starting to become distant only to inhale as deep as I could not knowing that it would be the last breath that I took.

That it would be the end.

* * *

Mike began to panic when he body stopped moving with her breathing. Loosening his grip, he began to lightly shake her as he repeated her name several times to get her to wake but she didn't. Leaning down, he tried to listen to her heartbeat but it wasn't there. It was pure silence. Just like they'd shared this whole time. Tears began to gather in his eyes as he came to the realization that she was gone and that there really was nothing that he could do – just like she'd told him on several occasions.

He just chose to never believe it. He didn't want to. Who in their right mind would want to?

A few sobs managed to leave his lips as he sat up somewhat, cradling Nattie's limp body in his arms, rocking her back and forth as he tried to hold back his emotions. Soon realizing that this was no place to be in his situation, he picked the blonde up and headed back up the beach and to their home. The walk seemed to be taking forever and he just hoped no one got suspicious or too curious.

Resisting the urge to run, he eventually made it back home, using his back to open the doors before he headed up the stairs to their room and laid her on the bed before crawling next to her, linking his fingers with hers tightly.

He wondered if she knew he was still there, that he was still holding her hand, that he was still by her side.

The silence still remained.

Looking around the room, he eyed all the photos of memories that the pair had shared over the last 4 years and couldn't help but let go. Let go of his emotions.

He burst into tears as he buried his face into the crook of her neck; his arms pulling her close as his mind wished for her to still be there, to still be breathing. He didn't want what they had to end. It'd been perfect, almost too perfect but no matter what, the woman had always meant the world to him and he'd let her know that on a daily basis.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed something out of place.

Something, he'd not noticed before.

Almost reluctantly reaching for a small rectangle that sat on Nattie's side of the table, he discovered it to be a letter. Still holding onto her hand, he opened it and parted the paper to reveal words neatly written in her hand writing.

_Mike,  
The past few months have been the hardest for me, to watch you deal with what's been happening, to see the sadness in your eyes every morning when I woke up, always broke my heart.  
I didn't really know how to deal with everything myself but you were always my rock when it got extremely hard. I admired how you dealt with other who did nothing but pity us because of our situation.  
I know I gave up, but you never did. I wished I had the heart that you did because then maybe I would've at least tried harder. At least for you and I'm sorry that I didn't. I don't want you to have to go through what is only going to be the inevitable because you mean the world to me, and I've always hated to see you hurting. It was something that I dreaded.  
I wish I could've eased the pain you've endured, and the pain you're yet to suffer.  
Just remember, please always remember that I love you, and that I will never, ever stop – not even when my days are over.  
Love,  
Nattie _

Holding the paper close to his heart once he'd finished reading, he leant down and pressed his lips to her cheek.

"I love you too, Nattie. I will always love you"

Not even moments after those words left his lips, he began to cry again and to be honest, he didn't know when he would stop.

If ever.


End file.
